That was the very first night, something got taken away from me, that night of our adolescence which we were so eager to grow out of.
When we first kissed in the closet. you were impatient and i was fascinated,
trying to gather all the romance from the kiss even though it was mutually experimental.
Then came love, and then the end of it, life happened, livelihood emerged, prerogatives, desires, complexities, struggles appeared and I got baked and toasted like a nice cookie.

in small measures some parts of myself loosened and dissipated.I left some of myself in numerous places, countless nights and days.

Sometimes I think that i am no better than wild cattle trying to outlast the desert
Just when i remember that one day in early childhood when I had tightened my fist and held it over my heart.

Even if the entire being dissipates, I don't think that fist could ever be opened.
That part of myself safely locked away.


Untitled, as you have changed from decades to centuries and still remained without a name, so have I wondered around all through these years in search for your namesake.
When you were a woman, I was a shy sophomore. I was unforgivingly romantic and shuddered at the idea of taking my clothes off. I was punch drunk in love and I couldn’t put my feet together at any instant.
When you were anonymous friends and fleeting lovers, I was bright, aspiring and pompous. I was a trickster, cheating over cards on the table. I moved along with the lights and the gypsies.
When you were the man, I was the woman. I made a home and lit it with lamps. I gathered and waited. loved and remained at my place, stationary. I suffered irrevocably.
Untitled, I have left with a note. In it I promised you love and remembrance. I am not a seamstress otherwise I would have sewn my biddings together instead of making them into a bundle with a knot.
In all these years as you changed from man to woman to life and to me, I could not name you as you. But all my biddings, my hopeless romances, my letters, my poems remain yours undoubtedly.
Keep them. They are for keepsake.