11/19/07

none the less...

Just a little mindlessness… that is how I explain it to myself!.. and what is that “it”… well it is that one little thing…it is those many things….

When I get overwhelmed seeing those wild life documentaries.. and even to an extent that I tip over and cry…
When my mind goes blank while listening to ghazals..… to an extent that I cannot think of anything else…
When I try and philosophise the existence of everything..
When I feel too embarrassed to express my anger or resentment and coil into a puddle of misleading expressions…
When I stare at myself in the mirror for hours…honestly believing that I am beautiful.
When I get Goosebumps standing underneath the sky just when its about to rain..
When I talk too much…when I don’t talk at all..
When I unassumingly smile at strangers.. and they look at me suspiciously unable to recollect where they have met me last…
When I wander like a lost soul… inside my house in the wee hours of the night.
When I secretly miss my loved ones.. but never give them a call even if I want to.
When I am scared to death to meet my old friends who I love dearly.. fearing that they would have changed.
When not love but the anticipation of it makes me want to fall for it…
When I seek silence and solitude amidst a lost and baffled multitude.
When I get shit scared to climb escalators and cross roads and get hell conscious later.
When I drive my laughter to an extent until it becomes a cackle.
When I spend nights…. sleepless.. just thinking… neither joy nor fear nor sorrow…thoughts and only thoughts…occupy my mind…
When left on my own, I speak to myself…just about anything because I love hearing my voice….
When I write meaninglessly…
When I love hopelessly….
When I dream aimlessly…. But never the less… I dream on ceaselessly…

Just a little mindlessness… that is how I explain it to myself…and what is that ‘it’
Well it is that one little thing….it is those many things…

2 comments:

helius said...

i want to post comment here... not a big thiker but dat little 'It' is complete 'You'...dat little 'It' shows the entire unvierse within 'You'.. Just to explore dat little tiny star... so many thoughs, so many dreams, bit afraid but sure about acheiving it..divine beauty..philosophical mind..and..

Minakshi said...

Strange how I can actually relate to every word, every feel, every emotion...
Beautifully carved...